Humor

Exclusive: Trump-Putin Secret Helsinki Meeting Transcript

  “The President’s Club” had a super secret meeting–– but we’ve got the inside dope! The Lint Screen has secured a top secret transcript of a private meeting President Donald J. Trump held with Russian President Vladimir Putin in Helsinki in July. The document is the only known transcript of this meeting. Immediately following the …

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Humor

Trump’s “Conversation Starters” For Putin Meeting

 In an exclusive, The Lint Screen has acquired the list of possible conversation starters President Donald J. Trump will be using for his meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin at the G20 summit. 1. I won the election in a landslide. Huge victory. Incredible feat. No one expected it. I’m president, and they’re not! 2. …

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Humor

Putin Wins Gold Medal

 Rooskie #1, Vladimir Putin, has scored a first for world leaders by snagging the first gold medal at the Sochi Olympic Games. “I defy anyone to find another country’s president who ever won any medal in Olympics history,” said a beaming Putin as he wore his gold medal on his bare chest with erect nipples …

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Humor

Russia Declares War on Space

 Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia, has declared war on outer space following what he called “an obvious hostile attack on our great nation.” A meteor struck near Chelyabinsk, Russia, on Friday and injured 1,200 people while damaging 4,000 buildings. According to secret sources, Putin has been “angry as a lanced boil” ever since the …

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Humor

12 WikiLeaks Blockbusters

 Discerning newshounds do not wish to wade through the morass of the 250,000 leaked diplomatic cables posted recently by WikiLeaks, so the staff of The Lint Screen have selected the following choice morsels for your enlightenment and amazement. 1. Russian prime minister, Vladimir Putin is reported to frequently brush his teeth without first flossing. “It …

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