Humor

Sessions Pursuing Career In Pornography

 Match Game host Gene Rayburn famously said, “A door opens, you get kicked out that door, it slams behind you, but the door to a new world of opportunity opens up. That’s some crazy f’in sh*t!” Witness former Attorney General Jeff Sessions. The diminutive pilot fish was recently killed by his shark, but he lives …

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Humor

Troops Deployed From Border To Forests

 President Trump sure knows how to be commander-in-chief! After deploying over 5,000 troops to the southern United States border for protection against the horrendously dangerous caravan, the Big Fella made an executive decision to send the soldiers out west and is putting them on clean-up duty instead. “The president wants to stop all the western …

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Humor

Florida Dems Disclose Their Secret to Winning Elections

 Our nation is decidedly behind glorious leader Donald J. Trump and his agenda for making America great again. The red wave in the midterm elections proves it! Yet, the cheating Democrats won’t surrender. Using the same tactics the looney liberals deployed in cheating President Trump of the popular vote in 2016, the sly Dems used …

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Humor

Trump Blames God For World Problems

 The president made it clear today he doesn’t care how powerful you are–– if you refuse his “embrace” you are in serious trouble. Today Donald Trump called The Lint Screen and began an epic rampage against God The Almighty. “Look, I like God,” Trump said. “He’s a good guy, good work ethic. Did some amazing …

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Humor

Deadly Caravan Threatens USA; Only One Man Can Save Us

 The treacherous, ravaging “caravan” is making a beeline to the United States border at blinding speeds of two-to-four miles an hour, and it presents such an existential threat, Lady Liberty needs a change of underwear. A mysterious patriot named John Miller called The Lint Screen offices to give the details. “Listen, this caravan is like …

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