Last night, Stephen Miller, a senior advisor to President Trump, took the stage at the Laughing Skull Lounge in Atlanta and performed a crisp comedy set on open mic night. In an exclusive, The Lint Screen presents the transcript of the hilarious jokester’s routine.
“Hello. I am Stephen Miller. I work in Washington, D.C. In the White House. And, boy, is it ever white… I’m talking really white.”
(AN AWKWARD THREE MINUTES OF SILENCE AS MILLER SLOWLY SCANNED THE CROWD)
“Seriously, if you’re in this country illegally, or, if we don’t think you’re one of us, we will deport you. Come in here, guys, check and make sure everyone here tonight is legal…”
A TEAM OF TWENTY ICE AGENTS STORMED INTO THE CLUB AND BEGAN DEMANDING PROOF OF AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP FROM EACH AUDIENCE MEMBER AS MILLER LAUGHED. SOME PEOPLE RESISTED AND WERE CLUBBED, ARRESTED, AND REMOVED FROM THE CLUB. WHEN THE ICE TEAM WAS DONE CHECKING CREDENTIALS, MILLER STRAIGHTENED HIS TIE AND CONTINUED HIS ROUTINE.
“Why did President Trump cross the road? Because there were a lot of good people on both sides. You’ve been a great audience. Make America great again, Atlanta! Thank you. Goodnight.”
MILLER BOUNDED OFF THE STAGE AND VANISHED INTO THE NIGHT.