Humor

Prez Invites “Pootie” To Sleepover

Donnie & Pootie display their jammies

With the world in an ever-present danger of nuclear holocaust, U.S. President Donald J. Trump believes in the power of togetherness, so he recently invited Russia President Vladimir Putin to the White House “for a sleepover to end all sleepovers.”

“The sleepover would be epic,” press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders told The Lint Screen. “The president said the two leaders could stay up late after Hannity, watch monster movies, and build a fort with sheets and pillows. Of course, the fort would be branded TRUMP. Their activities would also include telling spooky stories and making prank phone calls. First Lady Melania even agreed to make popcorn and S’mores. The president is very excited about the prospect of a fun sleepover with his good pal ‘Pootie.'”

Some in the fake liberal media have accused Trump of cozying up with a known enemy, but leaders in the Republican Party dismiss those criticisms.

“The president knows what’s he is doing,” Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said. “He knows the real enemy of America are Democrats and their agenda of confiscating our guns, teaching children science, and deleting the word ‘Jesus’ from the Constitution and the Bible. President Putin seems like a good guy–– he’s already agreed with the president that there was no collusion in the 2016 election. That’s enough proof for America and me, can we move on, please. Enough of the sour grapes!”

Eric Trump said he’d also like to attend his father’s sleepover. “I have a girlie magazine, and I know some good dirty jokes.” Chief of Staff John Kelley said that “would be impossible because there’s only room for two in the presidential sleeping bag.”

A pouting Eric stormed off to his room and slammed the door.

“The president is very excited,” Sarah Huckabee Sanders said. “The morning after the sleepover they can watch Fox and Friends while eating a breakfast of crispy bacon and Pop Tarts. Then, the two scamps can play with president Trump’s nuclear football.”

There has been no word if Russia has accepted the president’s invitation.