Humor

Millions of Americans Conspire In “Rigged” Election

The conspiracy is widespread as a majority of American voters have been secretly meeting late at night and agreeing they would not vote for Trump. “The joke’s on him,” said one unnamed source who wished to remain autonomous. “He thinks he’s going to win, but he’s not. I know it’s cruel to lead someone to believe something on purpose, and then kick him, but, what can you do–– it’s funny.”

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Humor

Candidates To Wear Electric Debate Collars

“We’ve seen Hillary and Donald square off, and it was ugly,” said Emily Tortsover, the head of the debate organizer committee. “And last night, we witnessed the Tim and Mike show, and it was an awful affair. Their behavior was completely unacceptable. We’ve tried rewarding candidates with treats for good behavior, but that doesn’t seem to work. Something had to be done, and electric collars are the natural solution.”

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