Humor

2013 Gets Bum’s Rush

 Traditionally, the new year is ushered in with great fanfare as the departing year enjoys the perks of riding off into the sunset of a secure retirement and fond memories of a life well-lived. But such is not the case for 2013! Thanks to new stringent laws, the retiring year will not receive any governmental …

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Humor

NSA Apprehends Santa Claus

 Officials with The National Security Agency announced today that Santa Claus (AKA: St. Nicklaus, Nicky The Saint, The Lapman, Fluffy Cuffs, The Chimney Packer, Make It Reindeer, Mr. In-The-Present) has been arrested and taken into custody and is being held in an undisclosed location (“Guantanamo,” a little bird told The Lint Screen over four fingers …

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Humor

NSA Investigating North Pole Terrorist Group

 The National Security Agency reported today that it has launched a full scale investigation into a terrorist cell group located in the North Pole region. “This could be huge,” said the unnamed source who stood in the shadows and spoke through a kazoo to scramble his voice. The anonymous source said that the NSA has …

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Humor

Obama Blamed For Tragedies Following Turkey Pardons

 It is a White House tradition for the President to pardon a turkey just before Thanksgiving, but this year Barack Obama put a spin on it–– he had two birds with their necks on the chopping block and put it up to an internet vote which would be dressed to kill. Then, Obama ignored the …

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Humor

Brother-in-Law’s Opinion Changed, World Stunned

 For the first time in recorded history, a person’s opinion was changed at a Thanksgiving dinner. On Thursday, November 28, at 1:42 p.m., Tom Wheddlekupp engaged in a spirited debate with his brother-in-law, Randy Snogslougher on the Affordable Care Act during his family’s annual Thanksgiving dinner celebration. The men had almost come to blows in …

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