Humor

Michelle Obama Possibly Cheated Oscars, Cruz Claims

  Feisty freshman Texas Senator Ted Cruz has accused First Lady Michelle Obama of “possibly cheating the world out of the legitimate winner of the Oscar for Best Picture, Lincoln by instead naming Argo as the winning film.” Cruz noted that because the First Lady read the winner’s name from a sealed envelope, “who knows …

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Rants and Raves Reviews

The Envelope, Please

 Tonight’s the 85th Academy Awards and while 2012 was a pretty terrific year for movies, I hope just one thing–– that Lincoln doesn’t get crowned king. Yes, Lincoln was a great president but this was not a great movie. It wasn’t bad, mind you, it just didn’t live up to the incessant hype. Let’s just …

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Humor

God Tells Russia, “Bring It!”

 Unnamed sources close to God report that He is upset at the recent tirade that Russia president Vladimir Putin staged following a meteor landing in his country. “The Big Guy resents that creepy bare-chested Rooskie peacocking about being attacked from outer space,” said the heavenly source who wished to remain anonymous for fear of banishments …

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Humor

Russia Declares War on Space

 Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia, has declared war on outer space following what he called “an obvious hostile attack on our great nation.” A meteor struck near Chelyabinsk, Russia, on Friday and injured 1,200 people while damaging 4,000 buildings. According to secret sources, Putin has been “angry as a lanced boil” ever since the …

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